Mike Versus the Devil

Devil has a score to settle

Mike was one helluva guy, of that much he always knew. He never had a moment when he did not know exactly what to do. Manipulating people was his pastime; it was nothing but a game. He lived his life without honor and nobody to answer for his shame. Until the day the Devil came knocking at his door. It was time for his dues to be paid.

“Rumor has it you’re a devilish buck, strutting around, claiming to have me outdone.” The Devil growled, incensed. “As King of Hell, I take offense. I want to hear your sad defense, or have you lost your senses?”

Mike smiled, leaning into the Devil face, close enough to smell his sulfur breath.

“Devil, your game has gotten old, it’s time for someone new. If you are the worst evil ever known, tell me what you’re going to do.”

The Devil raised his wicked brows and ripped open a vicious grin.

“I challenge you to a duel. Prove you’re not a repugnant fool, and hell may be right for you to rule.”

Mike laughed and slapped his knee, thinking this must be a joke. But when he looked in the Devil’s eyes, Mike knew he meant just what he spoke.

“Sure thing, Devil, bring it on, I’ve got nothing better to do. This ought to be a hoot.”

This old devil sure was lame. It was time to up Hell’s game, bring the eternal inferno back into fame – and Mike would be the new devil’s name.

“You and I owe apologies for all the nasty deeds we’ve done. The challenge is to undo all our wrongs, each and every one.”

“What’s my prize if I do all that? I’ve played a lot of tricks, twisted a lot of facts. Many have been had.”

“How about a ticket straight into Heaven, even though you’ve been so bad? My royal seat is vacant, next to the Great Almighty. Dear old Dad.”

Mike thought for a moment about all his sins, of which there was a heap. Eternity spent in Heaven’s luxury would be sweet, away from Hell’s infernal heat.

“How long do I have to accomplish this feat? It’s going to take some time, you know, to get these tasks completed.”

“Yes, that’s true.” The Devil raised a thoughtful brow, then shrugged. “I’m a generous brute. Take as long as you like. The rest of your life. I’ll leave it up to you.”

“What about you?” Mike stopped the Devil as he turned. “What is your due? Not that I’m worried. I can’t possibly lose.”

“Your soul to persecute for all eternity. I’d have thought you already knew.”

“It’s a deal, Devil. I’m not afraid of you.”

Mike held out his hand to seal the deal, instead, the Devil slapped him upside his head.

Life past by in the blink of an eye. Mike fell ill and was soon to die. He remembered the devil’s deal and realized he was about to fry. Thinking quick, he wrote a letter of apology and sent hundreds of copies to all he had slighted.

He laughed inside, swelling up with pride, at how easy it was to win his bet. Since most of the people he knew were already dead, he would never suffer an eternal hellfire bed.

On the day Mike died, the Pearly Gates opened wide. Mike hiked up his pants and sauntered inside, with a small pinch of surprise, that he’d gotten a free pass for all of his crimes.

Mike looked high and low for the royal chair, upon which he was to be seated. And slowly began to notice all the smiling faces by whom he was greeted. Each sweet angel dressed in white was someone from his past, and soon they began to swarm him, their voices loud and fast.

Mike realized the fate he had met. An eternity spent in penance among all of whom he had slandered, cheated, and humiliated. These were not smiles but sneers on their faces. Mike knew he was truly hated.

Mike ran back to the angel busy locking up the front gates, barely noticing they were no longer gold but charcoal slate.

“There’s been a mistake! I want to file a complaint. I’ve been cheated. To suffer is not my fate!”

The angel pulled off his mask, revealing the Devil underneath.

“You earned your destiny, fair and square. I pulled a lot of strings to arrange your eternal intervention. Grab a chair!”

Mike reeled back gasping. “You’re nothing but a cheater and a slime!”

“No, not me, never! Although, this has been a hell of a good time.” The Devil snorted.

“We agreed to make apologies, but I have never done anything wrong, you see. Mortal souls know what I aim to achieve. I am honest in the bad I do. Everyone knows my game and only have themselves to blame.”

The devil wagged his long, taloned finger in Mike’s face.

“You have no excuse, or shame. Hiding like a snake, a liar, and a fake. Your soul was always mine to take.”

Mike thought for a moment, a fiendish smile crept over his face.

“Deceiver! I sent an apology to everyone, even the dead. You can’t deny my prize, no matter what you’ve said.”

“Indeed, your attempt was almost effective. Sadly, one was neglected.”

“Impossible! Whose offense did I forget?” Mike railed.

At this, the Devil simply grinned.

Thanks for reading! Remember, don’t answer the door if the devil comes knocking - he’ll use your smarts against you.